I’m glad you’re here
What I think about, care about, and write about is rooted in what I believe. I believe that mamas can change the world. I believe that we are growing people (in both senses), and that embracing our own growth helps us grow our kids. I believe in the power of mamas who claim their strength and take up space. I believe that nurturing growth and connection makes us all better. I believe that parenting is a public service.
Self care is the necessary self regard and loving care that allows us to show up in our lives and for our people.
FRUSTRATION, ANGER, AND AGGRESSION:
The most useful of my learning about anger has come from the developmental psychologist Dr Gordon Neufeld's work on aggression. What follows is a summary of what I've learned from him about anger.
Usually, Jenni said, she asks people to accept responsibility, to consider, “What’s your part? What is yours to own?” The good girl, though, accepts more than what’s hers. Rage is kept at bay, and beneath that, hurt and loss and grief. She invited us to take off the mantle of blame and let rage have a voice.
Parenting can fill you up, but wow can it take you down. There are days when everything feels hard and you're so worn out and irritable and you're trying to hold it together but you keep snapping and maybe you yell and for a moment you recognize just how much anger you're carrying around inside and how often it's leaking or even bursting out of you onto your kids and you know it has to stop.
Anger is a signal of our boundaries, our limits, our hurts. It shows us who we want to be, and where we fall short.
There's a risk to voicing your ideas and experiences, especially about something as personal and important as raising your children.